Holy Sh*t, This Anti-Aging Cream Gives You An Actual Second Skin
by DavidCline@omgfacts.com, 9 years ago |
3 min read
And MIT scientists created it, so you know it’s legit.
Eventually, we all get old. It’s pretty much that simple, really. Despite telling ourselves, “No, no, no, that can’t be my gray hair,” we’re all, at this very moment, as old as we’ve ever been and getting even older all the time. A crotchety but sweet life of bird-watching and bunions awaits every one of us, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Although our lifelong slide into puttering, liver-spotted bingo nights at the Y is completely inevitable, that hasn’t stopped us from trying damn near everything over the centuries to prevent it. Countess and murderess Elizabeth Bathory bathed in the blood of her youthful victims in hopes that it might keep her sprightly and young forever. Twelfth-century alchemists worked tirelessly (and ineffectually) trying to synthesize the Elixir of Life, which would heal all ailments, eliminate pain and extend life. Finally, every elementary schooler knows the tale of Ponce De Leon, whose quest for the Fountain of Youth led him, ironically, to “discover” Florida, today a land of orange retirees and geriatric grandpa golf. Despite a couple millennia of failure, we selfie-obsessed modernists remain as undeterred as ever in our efforts to stave off the ravages of time, and our determination just paid off with a remarkable new cosmetic courtesy of researchers at MIT. XPL is the miracle youth cream you’ve heard daytime TV doctors lie about, but this one actually works and won’t cost you eight easy installments of $24.95. The silicon-based cream, applied in two stages, forms a nearly invisible layer of “second skin” capable of reducing wrinkles, signs of aging and otherwise mimicking the suppleness and elasticity of youthful skin.
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Do not show me this again