21 Freakouts We All Have When We Get Something In Our Eye
"I'M NOT CRYING, OKAY?!"
It's a warm, breezy day. The birds are chirping, the flowers are in bloom and the air is...full of pollen and crap. It's only a matter of time before some of that flying debris gets in your eyeball and you absolutely lose your shit. Before you go cycling through denial, anger, bargaining and the lot, just breathe. We've all been there. Don't try to fight it—just surrender to the inevitable trauma of trying to remove a foreign object from your delicate peeper.
1. The first itch
2. The casual wipe
3. Full-on rubbing
4. Remembering you're not supposed to rub your eye
5. The frantic look-around
6. Excessive blinking
7. Friends asking if you're okay
8. Insisting you're fine
9. Trying to sit still long enough to use eyedrops
10. Giving up and sticking your head in a water fountain
11. More furious eye rubbing
12. Asking a friend to lick your eyeball
13. Accepting that you may never get this damn thing out
14. Googling "eyeball removal"
15. Googling "how to look fierce in an eye patch"
16. Considering your future life as a cyclops
17. Starting to cry, like the drama queen you are
18. Realizing the mysterious irritant is gone
19. Feelin' yourself again
20. Like, really feelin' yourself
21. Until the vicious cycle begins again
