Why Everyone Should Act Like Calvin Harris After A Breakup
Deleting evidence of your ex on social media is just the first step to getting over a breakup 💀.
By now, you probably know that Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston were seen hanging out/making out/being super cute literally two weeks after her 15 month relationship with Calvin Harris ended.
Like the rest of the world, you probably had A LOT of feelings about this.
First, you probably Googled who Tom Hiddleston is and found out he's another British guy (Tay has a type!) who might be the next James Bond. You then analyzed each of the pics and thought #GOALS because they're adorable together—I mean, she's wearing his jacket at one point! By the time you got over the cuteness factor, you had a sinking feeling in your gut when you remembered that Tayvin split up just about two weeks ago. It made you mad. It made you sad. But also confused AF.
Social media had one big panic attack after the Swiddleston pics were released.
But the shadiest part is this picture—yes, that's Taylor watching Tom from afar, probably plotting how she's going to one day end up with him.
According to E!, "Calvin was very suspicious that Taylor was cheating during their relationship. He just didn't know with whom," a source dished to the outlet about Calvin's reaction to the pictures with Tom. "He feels like these pictures confirm his suspicions, and it changes everything. He is so angry and feels betrayed. He is convinced that Taylor was cheating with Tom while they were still together."
Don't get me wrong—it's great that Taylor is moving on. It really is. I don't expect her to sit in her million dollar condo, cry and write breakup songs (OK, maybe a part of me does.) People deal with breakups in all different ways, and perhaps moving on with someone else is the easiest way for Taylor to cope. Maybe the spark completely died out with Calvin and she found she had insane chemistry with Tom when they danced together at the Met Gala.
There's no right or wrong way to deal with a breakup, but I can't help but be a little disappointed by Taylor. I developed a new respect for Swifty during her "1989" era because she proved to the media that she didn't always need a man by her side. When she started dating Calvin Harris, I was happy for her because their relationship felt real. After the breakup, I expected her to continue being the "1989" superstar who proves there are things in life other than dating.
So, I'm 100% Team Calvin after this one, and the way he's been handling the breakup is something we all should take note of.
First, he deleted Taylor from all of his social media. Deleting your ex from social media isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength.
To refresh your memory, the breakup tweet said: "The only truth here is that a relationship came to an end & what remains is a huge amount of love and respect." Taylor had originally retweeted this, too. The "Blank Space" singer also deleted any evidence of Calvin on her social media after Calvin blocked her and her brother and deleted pics.
Sure, it may seem a little petty to block your ex, but after a breakup it's the right thing to do. I didn't unfriend my ex immediately, and I found myself going to his Facebook page every single day only to find pics of him with bikini-clad girls I knew. I eventually unfriended him, and it was the best decision I ever made. You need time to grieve after a breakup, and by cutting the person out—at least temporarily—gives you some piece of mind so you don't have to be forced to think about them.
In fact, dating coach Mick Lolekonda agrees. "The main benefit of breaking up with an ex is to get rid of the emotional hold they may have on us," he tells YourTango. "Avoiding staying in touch during the healing phase is the best way to get them out of our heads and move on."
He's been focusing on his own projects.
Instead of rebounding, Calvin is keeping busy with his own projects. The EDM superstar has been teasing the release of his highly-anticipated music video with Rihanna, "This Is What You Came For" on social media.
There are tons of ways to move on from a breakup, and staying busy by focusing on your other passions—like music for Calvin Harris—helps create a positive outlet for dealing with the negative feelings of a breakup.
He's been spending time with friends.
Your friends and family are your biggest support system after a breakup, and it's important to lean on them when you're feeling down.
As someone who's not good about sharing my feelings, I found that spending time with friends shopping or laughing at stupid things was a great way to cope with my breakup. Eventually, you'll be able to confront those feelings head on—but a support system is vital for moving on.
It's OK to be sad about your breakup, but don't beat yourself up about it. According to Dr. Jennice Vilhauer, "Self-forgiveness is an important part of self-love. In hindsight, you may feel that there are things you could have done differently, but it is impossible to know what different outcomes could have been," she said in Psychology Today. "Every relationship, if we let it, can teach us something about ourselves and give us greater clarity about what we need in order to be happy."
So, look for a silver lining—no relationship is a waste of time. Perhaps the most important takeaway from the tragic fall of Tayvin is that there's no perfect romance. People are flawed and deal with things in different ways. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself.