We Tried To Make Boozy Gummy Bears And They Tasted Like Death
Move over, jello shots, these little bears are taking over.
You've probably heard of boozy gummy bears—the alcohol-soaked candy of everyone's dreams. But despite all the how-to articles out there, there was a comparative gap in this important topic, so the Dose staff sacrificed itself to bring you:
So I set about getting our bears nice and drunk
I gathered a hefty supply of bears along with a hefty supply of alcohol — rum, tequila, vodka and champagne.
I counted out exactly 40 bears into each bowl and poured just enough alcohol to submerge them completely.
I covered each bowl with saran wrap, and refrigerated them for 24 hours (as per most online recipes).
I stirred them every 2 hours or so while I was still in the office to make sure they didn't congeal together and then (this is key) I threw them in plastic bags and put them in the freezer for 20 minutes right before the taste test. They didn't actually freeze because of all the alcohol, but it did help them get a bit firmer since they were v. slimy after 24 hours in their booze bath.
I kept a control bear for comparative purposes and check out how full of alcohol that little bear is!
Then, I cajoled my coworkers into doing a taste test during lunch "because this is your full-time, paying job, after all"
After tasting all four, I asked everyone to cast votes for the Booziest Bear, Tastiest Bear and Grossest Bear.
Tastiest bear went unanimously to the champagne bear. Like 100% of all tasty votes kind of unanimous because this bear was damn good. I had to hold everyone back from going back for seconds so everyone could try.
Taste testers agreed that it was "delicious" and that they'd definitely make them for themselves.
It is worth noting that it does have the lowest alcohol percentage at 9.5% while all the others came in strong at 40%. Also worth noting is that the champagne bears were the only ones completely gone by the end of testing. Yum.
The booziest bear went to the tequila bear (though the rummy bear was a very close second) which I was definitely the most scared to try for this exact reason.
Our managing editor even spit out this particularly boozy bear (though in all fairness, she did spit out all four bears after a fair amount of gagging and "UGH"-ing) and others agreed it was "terribly boozy"
Maybe we should have provided salt and limes for taste testers because the tequila bear was also voted the grossest bear of the bunch.
Direct quotes include: "It just tasted really, really bad" and "The tequila bear was so unbelievably repulsive, it gave me nightmares" (and yes, this was indeed an after-the-fact quote the next day, so she may just be telling the truth).
Final thoughts:
First off, I'd like to take a moment here at the close to celebrate the "Rummy Bear" and it's unbelievably clever name, even though it was utterly repulsive.
But as for actual takeaways:
- The standard vodka bear was seemingly unimpressive considering it is the most commonly recommended alcohol in online recipes. They were described as "not as good as I thought they would be" and that "they'll get the job done if I really want to party because they taste fine." Sure, getting the job done is important and since they weren't completely repulsive, that is considered a win.
- However, if you're going for a truly delicious tipsy treat, the champagne bear is your best bet.
- I also have the personal belief that flavored vodka would be absolutely delicious (convince my managing editor it's worth another taste test and I'll let you know)
Booze on, little bears, and let us know if you found other Boozy Gummy Bear secrets!