Hipsters Have Finally Out-Hipstered Themselves With Deconstructed Coffee
I wanted a coffee. Not a science experiment.
It's been a big week for coffee: Starbucks released a new Nitro Cold Brew that is basically a coffee keg
College students (and people like me) couldn't be happier to give it a try.
As if that wasn't enough buzz, the hipsters had to come in and even out the coffee score by creating a new abomination to the delicious beverage
Jamilia Rizvi posted a picture of this disaster she was served at a cafe in Melbourne—she was told it was "Deconstructed Coffee"
Aka espresso, water and milk all served in separate beakers. Jamila was rather displeased and posted a picture on her Facebook of the "drink" and more than 20,000 people agree with her distaste.
Deconstructing food isn't new, and I will say it does make for some satisfying photos—but unless you want to eat a scoop of sauce, you're still going to have to make your pizza like an elementary school Lunchable, and that's what you pay chefs to do
Even deconstructed lattes aren't that new, and are served in small cafés all over the world
Including this one in New York.
But as pretty as it looks, it's completely impractical for regular coffee consumption. In fact, if I was served this abomination in Starbucks one morning I would likely throw all three cups right into the barista's face
Let's count the reasons why this is silly:
1. It creates way more dishes to be cleaned which is just wasteful.
2. You could never carry this contraption to work with you—and forget taking the train. You'd have to combine it all into one glass to hold it easily and OH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT COFFEE ALREADY IS.
3. As Jamila cited, it still took the baristas 20-minutes to prepare—and all they had to do was throw some liquids into beakers
4. Unless you're a fool who likes drinking hot water and hot milk separately, you're going to combine this into one drink anyway, so what's the point in waiting?
5. If I wanted to make the perfect ratio cup of coffee, I'd just make it at my own damn house.
6. Part of going out for coffee is that you're there to try that café's version of the beverage. But, if you wind up making the coffee yourself with the ingredients, that isn't achieved. So, you're basically paying a barista to NOT make coffee for you.
Get it together, hipsters
