Sexy Banana Eating Is Now Illegal In China
Step away from the fruit basket...
Bananas are just too sexy for China.
Ladies, have you ever eaten a banana in public and felt like everyone was staring at you? "What's so head-turning about my healthy, portable breakfast?" you ask yourself. Then you realize, "Oh...pervs just see a big yellow dick." What a world.
Well, all your fruit-eating insecurities have been validated by the Chinese government, which recently deemed the act too damn sexy to be allowed on the Internet.
In a recent clampdown on "inappropriate and erotic" online content, Chinese censors banned live streams featuring people (mostly women) "seductively" eating fruit (mostly bananas). The decree also forbids live-streamers from wearing stockings and suspenders, lest the audience be turned on by their grandparents' wardrobe.
Give the people what they want.
Pornography has been illegal in the People's Republic of China since its establishment in 1949. Porn-blocking Internet filters have been mandatory on all Chinese-made computers since 2009, so it's no surprise that people are seeking alternative erotica online. While it sucks that a woman eating fruit is considered lewd enough to warrant a government ban, it seems these live streams are filling a vacuum of sexual content on the Chinese internet.
Chinese live streaming sites have boomed in recent years, with the most popular hosts attracting millions of viewers and raking in hundreds of thousands of dollars in revenue. China's state media CCTN said these sites are "predominately attractive women showing their cleavage," and that the viewers are 77 percent male.
China, if you're not gonna let your people look at boobs on the Internet, don't be surprised when erotic banana eating takes off.
Even with this ban in place, people are likely to find a way to get their potassium-rich rocks off. BBC News reports that Chinese citizens have been vocally questioning the ban on social media. "How do they decide what's provocative when eating a banana?" asked one user of Weibo, China's largest social media site. Another user added that if the banana ban is enforced, live streamers "will all start eating cucumbers, and if that's no good, yams."