Kanye Went On Another Kanye Rant, This Time On 'Ellen'
No one rants like Kanye rants.
Kanye rarely goes on talk shows, and now it's apparent why. During an appearance on 'Ellen', he went on a seven-minute rant.
Originally slated to talk about his new apparel and shoe line—even bringing Ellen a pair of coveted Adidas Yeezy Boost 350 trainers—Kanye went off on tangents, as only Kanye can. After a brief discussion about how his wife, Kim Kardashian, thinks he should have a board of directors to veto potential tweets, Kanye said that he absolutely disagrees. Kanye doesn't regret a single one of Kanye's tweets.
After declaring that he wants to start with the truth and "put some dope shit with it," things really went off the rails.
Check out the most entertaining, "too real for daytime TV" rant below.
Kanye started the rant by explaining the world is in a "renaissance period," during which people can master different industries and fields.
Which is, of course, the reason he needs other people's money to pursue other avenues of industry. Duh.
He went on to elaborate that his father was homeless as recently as five years ago, and his mother was the first black female chair of the English department at Chicago State University. He capped it off by saying, "I was raised to do something, to make a difference."
You are doing something, Ye. You're going off the rails on daytime tv.
Yeezy changed gears suddenly and proclaimed that while Chris Rock hosting the Oscars was funny, the whole #OscarsSoWhite outrage wasn't a joke. Black actors are trying to break through a glass ceiling.
Yes! Clapping back at the Oscars—this we can get behind!
Barely looking at Ellen during the rant, Kanye dropped some lyrics and quoted Rakim and Phife Dawg.
No! No! Get back to shaming the Oscars and the movie industry for their white-washing! Rakim can wait!
Oh, and he channeled Tom Cruise by jumping up and trying to hype the audience he was staring down.
That's what this rant was missing: a hype man.
The poor audience probably just wanted to see Ellen dance.
Let's see some middle-aged, white-lady arms in the air!
Look at these faces.
Read the room, Kanye.
Kanye was at ease, though. This level of madness is par for the Yeezy course.
Continuing on another confusing yet entertaining tangent, Kanye launched into this insight: "Picasso is dead. Steve Jobs is dead. Walt Disney is dead. Name somebody living that you can name in the same breath as them. Don't tell me about being likable."
Picasso, Steve Jobs AND Walt Disney? Phew.
Kanye connected his school days with his next great business endeavor.
"But I remember going to school in fifth grade and wanting to have a cool outfit," Kanye said. "I called the head of Payless and I said, 'I want to work with you.' I want to take all this information that I've learned from sitting at all these fashion shows and knocking down all these doors and buying all these expensive clothes and I want to take away bullying."'
After another panicked applause break from the audience, Kanye went on to say that he is the Michael Jackson of the shoe game.
What?! Is he going to dance the Moonwalk in his own designer shoes? Is he going to dangle a baby wearing his shoes over a balcony? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YEEZY?!?
Here's how it all ended: "Isn't that so funny that people point fingers at the people that influenced us the most? They talk the most shit about the people who care the most. I'm sorry, daytime television. I'm sorry for the realness."
Yeezy, that was hard to get through, but you're right: You are too real for daytime television.
TOO. GODDAMN. REAL.