12 Things You Do That Make Retail Workers Really Hate You
Salespeople don't get paid enough to deal with this crap.
Anyone who's worked in retail knows the experience can be a real nightmare. Your first job probably involved nervously explaining why a customer should buy a sweater—which was followed by the anxiety of not knowing whether or not your sales pitch actually worked, or if they just pitied you. While you may have learned how to perfectly fold a t-shirt and be a smarter shopper, the biggest takeaway had to be that customers are the absolute worst.
If you've managed to escape the clutches of retail work (first, tell us how you managed that), it's quite possible that now you are one of the very unlucky people despised by anyone standing behind the cash register. Since you know how it feels to be in their shoes, don't commit one of these faux-pas because we promise you, that smile they are giving you is totally fake.
1. You waltz in exactly two minutes before we're allowed to close the doors
What we're thinking: "OH MY GOD! I was just about to change into my flip flops because my feet are throbbing. All I want is to run into the stock room to grab my phone so I can text and fold for the next hour. You better be in here for a very specific, high-priced item. At least then we can meet our daily sales goal and you can get the hell out of here ASAP. If you DARE to try on clothes in my fitting rooms, I am not above "forgetting" that you're in there so I can vacuum the floors."
2. You ruined my pile of perfectly folded shirts
What we're thinking: "Why do you think I asked you if you were looking for a specific size when you were eyeing this beautifully folded stack? I'm not actually that kind or that helpful. I just needed to make sure that you weren't going to destroy my masterpiece—half of which, is now on the floor."
3. You messed with the display mannequins
What we're thinking: "I did not get here at 4 a.m. to unbox, sort, fold the new merchandise and style these creepy mannequins just so that you could undress them. I could've found you a previously unworn article of clothing in the back, but no—you needed that one. Now I have to dig through the stockroom to find the exact belt and jacket she was wearing this morning so that our display is up to corporate standards."
4. You asked me to try on clothes for your wife/girlfriend/sister because I look "about her size"
What we're thinking: "This feels weird and I know my manager is watching me wondering WTF I'm doing. You seemed nice at first, but now I'm wondering how long you were staring at me before you decided I was probably the right size. You better buy all of this."
5. You destroyed the fitting room
What we're thinking: "I definitely regret offering to get pull a different size for every item you came in here with. You clearly aren't going to buy a damn thing, and now I have to deal with cleaning up your mess. Hopefully no one notices the deodorant and makeup stains you left all over these tops—though at least that's better than the time someone smeared actual human shit all over the mirror."
6. You let your kid run around the store screaming
What we're thinking: "I stopped babysitting years ago and I don't get paid enough to go back into that line of work while catering to you at the same time. Seriously, I'm not dealingl with your screaming, snotty offspring who keeps hiding underneath the racks. If he/she catches a table corner to the face because you aren't watching, I promise to look the other way."
7. You start asking me a bunch of questions as I'm trying to run out the door for my lunch break
What we're thinking: "Girl, I am hungry and I just want a few moments of peace outside of this damn store. I was thinking of actually going outside instead of being stuck in this depressing, windowless building. How many salespeople do you see with their phone and wallet in hand helping customers? Right, none. I'm just going to keep shooting panicky eye daggers at my coworkers until one of them takes you off my hands."
8. You're stealing
What we're thinking: "Just take it. I've been trained to use a 'customer service statement' about the item I saw you take so I never have to accuse you directly. Honestly though, I don't care."
9. You're on the phone during the entire checkout process
What we're thinking: "I'm supposed to ask you a ton of questions about your shopping experience, who helped you find all of these over-priced items and try to sell you our store credit card. I'm so glad that you're too busy making weekend brunch plans to give a shit about what I have to say. Thank you for making my job so much easier."
10. You're asking for a discount on a full-price item
What we're thinking: "If there was some kind of sale going on, trust and believe that the greeter, the other greeter, the manager working the floor and the person in the fitting room would have told you about it multiple times before you got to me. Sorry 'bout it, but no."
11. You disappeared in the middle of the transaction
What we're thinking: "Am I just supposed to hold this stuff here or....are you coming back? Where did you go? Oh, you found more stuff to buy. Great. Good. Wonderful. My line is 20 people long now, but feel free to cut in front of all of them."
12. Your credit card got declined
What we're thinking: "This is just as embarrassing for me as it is for you. Sure, you can swipe again. Yep, still declined. No, I'm not going to call your bank. That seems like maybe something you should do. Why don't we try one of the other 15 cards you have sitting in your wallet?"