How To Dress For Porta-Potty Season So You Stay Pee-Free

The days are getting longer, the air is getting warmer and migratory birds are returning from their winter homes. Summer is nearly here and festival season is already in full swing. Whether you're roadtripping to Bonnaroo or checking out every street fair in your city, one thing is certain—you're gonna have to crap in a porta potty. 

So, to protect yourself from other people's fecal matter, follow this handy guide to looking totally rad while staying poop and pee-free. 

Rompers seem like an easy breezy solution to all your sweaty festival problems until you find yourself fully naked in a metal box encrusted with the excrement of strangers. If the romper is loose enough and you're willing to take a gamble, you could just pull the flap of leg-dividing cloth aside and take a whiz, but you might get some pee on your hand. It's not worth it. 

But my toes wanna roam free! I wanna be one with the earth! No. Unless you wanna be one with everyone else's doody germs, cover your feet. We all know a few drips miss the bowl when you're hovering 12-inches above the Porta-Potty seat, and your toes are the first victims. High-tops provide maximum coverage against accidental pee-pee spray. 

A cute bandana in your hair can make you look like Rosie the Riveter while saving you from the douchey-ness of a flower crown. But did you know this lil miracle can also double as a face mask to guard you from the stench of OPP (other people's poop)? Now, that's a winner.

While heels and wedges are super-cute for the summer and give you a  little height boost to see your favorite band, if those 6-inch platforms get a bit wobbly in the john, you might fall in. Gross.

Summertime skirts and dresses are easy to hike up for a Porta-Potty squat, but definitely skip the earth mama maxi numbers that drag on the ground. Lift up that skirt at the end of the day and you just might find someone else's pantyliner stuck to your hemline. 

Just say no to spandex. It seems like a good comfy option for busting a move, but when the waistband gets stuck around your knees, you'll be trapped like a baby cow at a rodeo. Not to mention the serious case of swamp ass that lurks beneath the surface. Yoikes.

No one said hats with straps were sexy, but at least this little number won't tumble into a pile of drug-laced diarrhea. Save your floppy J. Lo hat for a breezeless brunch, bb.

Basic gym shorts are not the cutest, but trust me, easy wind flow through your bathing suit area will be ideal when toilet paper runs out and you need a little extra dry-off time.