Is This The Secret Farm Where Trump's Toupees Are Grown?
So Trump's hair is real? I have proof that's bullshit.
Politics used to be about helping the populace.
When George Washington took office as the first President of the United States, he envisioned a nation whose future was built around greatness. He probably never thought that a mere 240 years later, politics would almost exclusively be about toupees, penis size and over-the-top political ads.
Of course, it's partially the media's fault for letting these politicians *cough, Trump, cough* get away with their ridiculous, WWE Smackdown-like behavior. Sometimes you just have to have a little fun with the presidential candidates, to keep yourself from slipping into an abyss of depression over the sorry future of politics in the US.
So, in the spirit of skirting around the abyss, here are a few things you might not know about that rat's nest on Trump's head.
Donald Trump claims his hair is natural. He once invited a woman onstage to give his locks a firm tug.
Oh, well that's good enough for me, I'll just go about my day...YEAH, RIGHT. Like she wasn't a plant. You can't fool us that easily, Donald. She barely tugged on that ever-so-gently-coiffed stack of straw on your head.
Nobody has ever seen Trump without his hair/hairpiece/wig, which is a bit of a blow to Trump hair-truthers like us. Luckily though, someone in our truther ranks made an artist's rendering of what a hairless Trump would look like.
Without his hair, he basically just looks like your average Wal-Mart goer. If you're ever out and about and see Trump in his natural state, call 1-800-TRU-TRUMP so we can expose him.
We now have further evidence that that hair may actually be a toupee. In an amazing recent turn of events, Donald Trump's wig factory WAS ACTUALLY DISCOVERED.
This is huge, folks, and thanks to VGTV for breaking the news. Knowing where Trump grows his wigs is phase one of the process of truly exposing him. We know the wigs are being grown in Norway, but is it possible that the wigs are actually some kind of parasitic alien species that have tapped into Trump's brain and caused him to spew hate and ignorance? No, that's not possible. It's just his personality.
We may never know what causes Trump's inherently evil nature, but at least we know the mystery behind that awful thing on his head.
Trump truthers, go forward and unite!