Sloth Meets Stoners, Stoners Fall For Sloth, Everyone Left Enamored
If #stonergoals wasn't a thing before, it definitely is now.
These people smoked some weed, and then they were asked, "How high are you?"
I'd say that's pretty high.
Then they started talking about spirit animals, like any high person ever.
Naturally, this guy said his was a unicorn.
I can totally see it.
But in the middle of these interviews, something amazing happened.
Something so epic, so unreal, it distorted these stoner's brains more than the dankest weed ever could: A sloth stopped by.
Woah, that was a lot to process at once (and I'm not even stoned). Let's break things down a bit and throw in some fun facts about sloths because, let's be real, if they weren't a regular part of your Google search history before they definitely will be now.
This high lady nailed the little guy's description.
Sloths get about get a solid 15 to 18 hours per day.
"I've never felt more magic in my life," sloth girl said, as she reacted like she'd just been proposed to.
Her boyfriend's going to have a hard time topping that. Mating season year-round, but for sloths it spikes in March and April. Coincidence?
Unicorn dude got so excited, he forgot to use his indoor voice.
No worries, man. Sloths have poor hearing.
This chick got real emotional, real quick, and quietly relished in the grand presentation.
She quietly whispered, "That's amazing," to the hanging sloth, making a more intimate connection with the sloth than most of us have with human beings.
The sloth just hung out the whole time. Partially because he does literally everything upside down, and also because he physically can't walk. He's also lazy AF AKA the ideal stoner companion.
It took this guy a minute to notice, but when he did, "oh snap."
Like his reaction, sloths are slow and deliberate.
This was no ordinary sloth. This sloth was an extra-in-the-Matrix kind of sloth.
He has the advantage of a reinforced lumbar vertebrae, which makes those stealth moves possible. I would totally see "Matrix 5: The Sloth Revolution."
"It could be in Cirque du Soleil," unicorn man said.
Skeleton, muscles, and joint anatomy support the hanging lifestyle of a sloth. Tbh I'd probably be the first in line to buy tickets to a a sloth circus.
This is the most epic thing to happen to stoners since GrubHub started delivering 24/7.
Who knew sloths had so much swag?