5 Top-Secret Emails From Hillary Clinton's Private Server
We're blowing the lid on this email scandal.
In March 2015, the political world was rocked by an unprecedented scandal.
If you haven't heard of the Hillary Clinton email controversy by now, you must have either been in a coma or wearing a very thick pair of earmuffs nonstop for the last year. During Clinton's tenure as Secretary of State, she used a private server located in her family's basement to send and receive more than 52,000 emails. For obvious reasons, this is a big no-no.
The controversy—referred to as a "scandal" whenever possible in the media—has been a ubiquitous hot-button topic since March 2015, and it's been especially relevant in the recent Democratic debates. Really, we can't stop hearing about the emails. To quote Bernie Sanders, "The American people are sick and tired of hearing about your damn emails." Well said, BernDog.
In a shocking leak of information second only to the Panama Papers in scale, we got our hands on five of the email exchanges labeled "top secret" by government officials. What follows are selections from Clinton's shocking correspondence.
1. This exchange between Mrs. Clinton and a private business, in which they discuss economics on a staggering scale
Seems Mrs. Clinton was delinquent on pickup—and most likely payment, too! Do I smell a scandal?
2. This exchange, in which an unfiltered Mrs. Clinton reveals her true feelings toward Bernie Sanders
I wonder what the photo was. Unfortunately, we may never find out.
3. This email from Bill to Hillary, which hints at a secret relationship with Joe Biden and Barack Obama
Now we really know what politicians do behind closed doors.
4. This email confirms our suspicions about the introduction of AI into the 2016 presidential campaign
This explains a lot.
5. This email, which affirms the secret alliance we've suspected all along
And to think not only did Clinton betray the public's trust by using a private server, she was also (presumably) spending taxpayer money on frivolous entertainment and clothing.
We've got you know, Mrs. Clinton. The world knows the truth.