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10 Shakespearean Insults That Make Throwing Celeb Shade Sound Poetic

by N/A, 9 years ago | 2 min read

The Immortal Bard doesn't put up with celeb bullshit.

insults Celebrities Shakespeare celeb

All the world's a stage, 
And all these men and women merely showboats;
They have their fifteen minutes and their falls from grace
And one man in his time plays many parts (*cough,* Ryan Seacrest, *cough*),
Their acts being shameless marketing ploys.
At first, I, the Immortal Bard, laughed at the comedy 
But now, e'er more ~over it,~
I throw'st shade at their shallow tragedies.

xoxo
Billy Shakes



To thou yellow-bellied fool who runneth thine mouth and squander thine pittance on yon big-arsed strumpet:

To thou undone princess of the Kardashian Kingdom: thine unhandsome and Botox-plumped pillows besmirch thine visage!

To thou Jester of Pop: Thine tomfoolery and criminal records suggesteth thine head is agape.

To thou counterfeit doctor full of quackery and bluster:

To thou faux maiden whose ivory skin hides an ebony heart:

To thou Gollum of gossip:

To thou empty shell of a harlot, who servest as the inspiration for mine wide array of strumpets and concubines:

To mine old friend, Ben, a word of advice and gentle consolation:

To the dolt Tucker Max, who hath published dog poo in the name of "humor":

To thou handsome but drunken giglet:

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