The 6 People You Become When You Post An Inspirational Quote On Instagram
Your "live, laugh, love" post isn't fooling anyone.
You're in bed with your feelings and you're scrolling through Instagram.
You haven't posted to Instagram in a while, and you're craving love in the form of heart-shaped double-taps. You're in a mood, and this quote you found on Pinterest has you feeling some type of way.
It could be the combination of a picture showing a soothing, sandy beach, overlaid with words in a trendy typeface; a tragically funny joke; or a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, who, a quick Google search reveals, seems to have been quite the outdoor enthusiast. Whatever quote you choose, you feel like it's deeper than Adele's latest album. It conveys your feelings better than your favorite emoji, and you have to size, filter, and 'gram it asap.
But, let's be real: That motivational fitness quote belies a subtext you dare not speak aloud. We're spitting some truth (so you don't have to) about the internal captions you don't share when you're quoting dead guys you don't even know.
The CrossFit Newbie
Internal Caption: My fat might be crying, but so am I. I belong on the couch, not the elliptical. However, I have a reputation to uphold. If I'm going to brag about doing CrossFit every opportunity I get, I need to integrate fitness into all aspects of my brand. It was either this quote or the quinoa salad I pretended to eat earlier, but hey, I'm not THAT obnoxious.
The Perpetual Preteen
Internal Caption: A lyric from a twenty one pilots song? Yes, people need to see this. It's got a confessional lyric; it's got some weird art thing at the top that, like me, no one understands; and it's got a background that looks like it was taken from "Twilight." That's basically the holy trinity of emo. Maybe Etsy sells this in poster form? I need something to hang next to my dreamcatcher.
The Stoned Philosopher
Internal Caption: These colors are doing something to my eyes right now, and I'm really enjoying it. I'm not really sure what wild air is, but I'd totally drink it. Mmm, I'm actually really thirsty right now—that sounds so good. This font is so my brand, and I'm obviously an intellectual because I am quoting Ralph Waldo Emerson. I wonder how high he was when he wrote this.
The Pretend Optimist
Internal Caption: Jimmy Johns, 45 minutes is not "freaky fast delivery." This better be a Top Chef-level Club Lulu. I called your store three times already, and you said my sandwich is on its way. It's 2016—you can't tell me Adam doesn't have a GPS.
The (Unemployed) Free Spirt
Internal Caption: I have no freaking clue what I'm going to do with my life, and that's probably why I changed my major five times in college. Next time my mom says I'm "directionless" I'm going to tell her I'm "passionately curious," like Einstein! He was a genius! Looks like we have two things in common.
The Amy Schumer Wannabe
Internal Caption: Are people my age really doing this "having babies" thing? You mean to tell me they're willingly taking on the responsibility of another human life? I can't even remember to eat lunch. I'm feeling very sad and confused about where I should be at in life, so instead of posting ultrasounds on the Internet, I'm going to post jokes.
These posts don't tell the whole story, but maybe you're just doing that the old-fashioned way.
We know what you really mean when you post those quotes. Lucky for you, obscuring the truth on the internet isn't a crime. If it was, Nev from "Catfish" would be out of a job.
As for Mr. Biden, he probably just 'grammed a quote that reads something like "There are no regrets in life, just lessons learned." Now he's journaling, "WHY DIDN'T I RUN FOR PRESIDENT?! Totally could've won."