My March Madness Picks Based On Anything But Basketball: Elite 8, Coaches
Anyone can get into the March Madness spirit by filling out a tournament bracket. It's easy—especially if your bracket is based on stats that have nothing to do with actual skill! In Round 1, I pitted the original 64 teams against each other based on their mascots. For Round 2 , I judged the team uniforms. And for Round 3, the Sweet 16, my picks were based on the appeal of each university's campus.
Now for Round 4, the Elite Eight, I'll compare the style of each team's head coach.
Kansas' Bill Self vs. Villanova's Jay Wright
Jay Wright is rocking the hell out of that paisley tie (respect, sir). He's also sporting a classy AF pocket square AND a down-to-earth rubber wristband, for an impressive hi/lo fashion mix.
Oregon's Dana Altman vs. Oklahoma's Lon Kruger
Lon Kruger's casually unbuttoned jacket and printed tie give him swag for days. He just can't be beat by Dana's blah solid colors.
UNC's Roy Williams vs. Notre Dame's Mike Brey
Roy's plaid suit would slay just about any opposing coach, and has absolutely no problem knocking out Notre Dame's Mike Brey, who looks like a mobster who also directs community theater on the side.
UVA's Tony Bennett vs. Syracuse's Jim Boeheim
In no specific order, here are the 4 reasons Tony Bennett beats out Jim Boeheim:
1) That power stance
2) He's positively dreamy
3) His vocal namesake, Tony Bennett 🎶
4) HIS EXTREME ATTRACTIVENESS AS A HUMAN BEING