Think Bernie Sanders Is A Man Of The People? 10 Examples To Prove You Wrong
Okay, Bernie, the American public has had enough of your corporate pandering and kowtowing to the interests of the wealthy. Enough is enough, and I'm here to stop you!
1. He's always blowing campaign donations on first-class plane tickets
Ah, dang. I forgot. He flies coach like a regular person, and gladly accepts THE MIDDLE SEAT.
2. Seriously, everybody, when are we going to stand up to this guy and tell him he can't just take a private jet everywhere?
My mistake—I mixed up "private jet" with "shitty coach seat on a 737" again.
3. He's constantly blowing money wining and dining the 1%, serving them expensive campaign dinners
By "wining and dining," I mean "water bottling" and "Pizza Hutting." And by "them," I mean just Bernie, by himself. Seriously, though, get some pals, Bernie. It's just depressing to see you eat shitty fast food by yourself. On the other hand, for a politician, it's very respectable.
4. Bernie's always taking limos to work. He totally doesn't walk to work every day or anything at all like that
Okay, so he does walk to work every day. But he is a JAYWALKER. FOR SHAME.
5. He hires super expensive photographers instead of just taking selfies like a normal person
Once again, you got me. But I wonder how much money he spent on that fancy iPhone! What have you got to say to that, huh? Oh, everyone has an iPhone? Okay then, carry on, Bernie.
6. He spent way too much money inventing that DeLorean and traveling back in time.
Damn, if I had a nickel for every time I confused Bernie with Doc Brown from "Back to the Future," I'd have a whole lot of wealth (to be redistributed).
7. He's totally not respected by his peers at all
"To Bernie Sanders with thanks for your commitment to real health care access for all Americans and best wishes—
Hillary Rodham Clinton 1993"
8. He's never taken the train while simultaneously burning his tongue on hot coffee, like every other normal guy
Okay, this is just a hilarious photo of Bernie. I cannot state to a reasonable degree of accuracy whether his tongue was or was not actually burned in the incident. Also, he just looks like someone's grandpa here. Hi, Grandpa Bernie!
9. He's totally lost touch with his artist friends since he got into politics
Oh, right. He had lunch with his rapper pal a couple of months ago. The Killer Mike/POTUS Bernie mixtape should be dropping sometime around January.
10. He's just your run-of-the-mill, ruthless politician. He definitely doesn't care about his supporters
Okay, Bernie. We get it. You're a really stand-up guy, who genuinely cares about the American public and just wants what's best for everyone. Enough already. If there's one thing everyone's sick of, it's a politician who's immune to corporate bribery, cares about non-rich, non-white-male folks and is in the fight to help people rather than for personal glory. Geez.