10 Times Bieber Messed Up And Didn't Say 'Sorry' (So We Did It For Him)
What Justin would say if it weren't "too late to say sorry."
We all know Justin Bieber's done some dumb shit once or twice a couple hundred times — though in his defense, he pretty much told us he doesn't "do well with apologies."
Lucky for him, we took the liberty of crafting a few 'Sorry' notes on his behalf, to the many souls he hath crushed. We even peppered in his own song titles, just to make the message more heartfelt. You're welcome, Biebs.
For that one time he cancelled all Meet and Greets for the 'Purpose tour because he said meeting his fans made him "depressed."
Dear Fans,
I'm sorry, but I'm canceling all my Meet and Greets for the entire Purpose tour. I know most of you pay thousands of dollars to see me, travel from "All Around The World" and think meeting me would be the best day of your collective lives, but I'm tired. And the truth is, my sleep > your happiness.
Sweet dreams,
Justin
For that one time he took the spotlight away from Jesus and declared himself immortal.
Dear Jesus,
I'm sorry for being so conceited. Good news is, "As Long As You Love Me," I know I will live forever. Because let's face it. It's Bieber's World and you just died for it.
Bless up,
Justin
For that one time he straight-up stole a fan's hair tie.
Dear Fan,
I'm sorry for stealing your hair tie. I'm like your really terrible ex, you know, the "Boyfriend" that takes what isn't his without asking and never gives in return. But just remember: I'll never date you. Still holding out for Selena.
Selfishly not yours,
Justin
For that time he egged his neighbor's house, causing $20 million in damages.
Dear Neighbor,
I'm sorry I egged your house, and elicited more damage than the average D-list celebrity makes in a lifetime. Damn, I love Kathy Griffin. Anyway, the truth is I was just bummed about losing last year's Easter egg hunt, wanted to take it out on the eggs. And your house, lol. I promise it was a "One Time" thing.
Peace,
Justin
For that one time he desecrated the diary of Anne Frank, proclaiming she would've been a "Belieber."
Dear Annie,
I'm sorry for coming to your house and writing in your diary. I always hate when Kanye does that to my Dream Journal. Wish I could've made you "One Less Lonely Girl." Still bummed about the Holocaust.
XO,
Justin
For that one time he was lazy AF and made his bodyguards carry him through the Great Wall of China.
Dear Bodyguards,
I'm sorry for quite literally putting the weight of a young, reckless punk on your shoulders. Though I am "Confident" I only weighed about 100 pounds during this trip (it was pre-Calvin Klein shoot 'roids) it was still a total BS, total Bieber Stunt.
My bad homies,
Justin
For that one time he had a fling with Kourtney Kardashian, 36-year-old single mother of three.
Dear Mason, Penelope and Reign,
I'm sorry for putting the moves on your mom. "Mark My Words," there are worse father figures out there than your dad (me).
You'll understand when you're older,
Justin
For that one time he jacked Nick Carter's hairstyle.
Dear Nick Carter,
I'm sorry for stealing your hairstyle. I've always wanted to be in a boy band. But the truth is, no one can stand me long enough to join my band. I mean, even Diplo, Skrillex and Jack U were like nah man, just this one song and we're out. But I'm more successful thank you'll ever be, and that's "All That Matters."
Bye, Bye, Bye.
Wait, that was that other, way more turnt boyband, not you.
BURN,
Justin
For those bunches of times he got arrested/had flawless hair in his mugshot photo.
Dear Police,
I'm sorry I keep getting arrested. At the end of the day, I'm just a dude who has no respect for authority. Fortunately, even though you serve to protect innocent lives every day, I'll always have more money than you so I can buy lambos just to crash them. I would say I won't get arrested ever again, but you know me, I "Never Say Never."
Being a tool isn't a crime,
Justin
For that one time Bieber said the "Black Keys drummer" needed to be slapped, and then laughed about it.
Dear Patrick Carney,
I'm sorry I physically threatened you before even knowing your name. I really should've tweeted, "the Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney should be slapped around haha." Maybe I'd even add one more ha to that.
I make "No Sense."
Just deeply insecure and jealous of your talent,
Justin
Sorry, Justin.
Next time, try to be a little nicer. We still love you though.
Sincerely,
Your slightly-annoyed-but-still-playing-Purpose-on-repeat Beliebers