John Oliver Calls Trump Out For Lusting After A Wall On The Border

Drumpf colors within his own lines after continually calling our neighbors to the south criminals and rapists. This Trump Prison Wall is only the beginning of the tiny boner inducing dreams of his.

As the campaign moves on and Drumpf starts to visit the lush gardens of the 1% supporters, their high garden walls built to keep their poor neighbors out of view start cropping up in his wet wall dreams. Emblazoned across the bricks in a fancy Apple Chancery font, Drumpf begins to lose blood flow to his tiny, orange-tinted brain.

As the Republican debates rage on, Drumpf's anger and aggressively bigoted comments grow larger and more frequent. Drumpf goes to bed and conjures up wet dreams of the border obstruction that literally has become a spectacular firewall—still with "TRUMP" in the fancy and understated Apple Chancery font. How titillating!

Campaigning in the still-cold Midwest, Drumpf made his way to Chicago. There, his rally is shut down by protesters. That night Drumpf dozed off in the highest suite in his lavish Trump Tower, and dreamt of a large ice masterpiece. Initially confused at the familiarity if where he could have pulled this impressive image from, Drumpf slept peacefully after deciding that it was his creative genius that conjured up the magnificent cold border wall. However, his loin-throbbing lessened as he longed for the fanciful font of Apple Chancery.

After another Super Tuesday, Drumpf returned to his luxury hotel after a long day of hate speech, finger pointing and convincing some white lower-class citizens that the entire Muslim religion is the root of all of their problems. Drumpf slowly pulled the 800 thread count sheets up to his schnozz with his itty-bitty hands with calm glee and surreal delight. That night, Drumpf had a wet wall dream that he built a wall so prolific that historians would say that it was built in the middle ages. Knights would fear it as much as all the would-be immigrants below the border. History books would say, the hand-lettered sign proclaiming his name to the land would be the beginning drafts of the gorgeous Apple Chancery.

Spring has sprung and Drumpf's campaign for the coveted chair in the Oval Office is ramping up again. Radical statements are being made; promises of paying the legal fees for those who get arrested defending his orange honor are abound, as well as the hate speech that is commonplace in rallies across the country. After a particularly brutal and white-only rally, Drumpf climbs into his four poster bed and soon becomes as hard as one of the wood rods decorating the frame. He dreams of the wall of bodies his decenters, enemies and those who he generally doesn't like will make at the foot of his glistening, orange body. Yes, it will be a beautiful AF wall to behold. Because Drumpf is beautiful AF and in Drumpf universe, the only thing that matters is beauty; you can't stop beauty.