There's A Hipster Ninja Masturbator On The Loose. Seriously, Though
This wanted fugitive is known by Seattle Police as the 'Ninja Hipster Masturbator.' Have Questions? He's a peeping tom. Dressed as a ninja. In Seattle.
In case you needed clarification:
This very accurately named serial masturbator is currently a suspect accused of making pervy visits to the home of a University of Washington student. Up to four visits, in fact.
Let's talk wardrobe decisions
The first incident was reported in January, after which surveillance was swiftly installed. Despite the night vision distorted color, the culprit is actually dressed in head-to-toe black. His wardrobe is complete with hood, a face wrap and (wait for it)... toe shoes.
I mean, he looks exactly like a member TMNT's Foot Clan
The resemblance is uncanny. Obviously this look is primarily intended to hide his identity, but theres no chance it's coincidental, right?
This guy's a skeez
Stay safe, women of Seattle. Be on the lookout for this potential TMNT zealot/deplorable human.