If You're A Punctual Person, You Won't Get These 15 Things
"Sorry I'm late, I had to hit the snooze button 17 times this morning."
1. You've never gotten out of bed without hitting the snooze button at least twice.
2. And when you finally get out of bed, you can't really motivate yourself to do anything other than sit around
3. In your rush to leave the house on time, you almost always leave something behind
4. Your natural enemy is the combination of winter and your windshield
5. People just don't believe your excuses for tardiness anymore, no matter how legitimate they actually are
6. You have to resort to pretty extreme measures to pull off the, "oh, what? I've been here all along" schtick
7. Really, no matter how good your excuse is, people just treat it like another excuse
8. So you end up resorting to just making shit up
9. And you eventually just give up on making shit up, too
10. Which means you find yourself having to send this text more often than you'd like
11. Your friends give you a lot of shit for your tardiness, too
Maybe they even made up a song about it.
12. And you're absolutely never, ever ready for them to come over, because they actually arrive on time
13. Actually, come to think of it, you might have hearing problems, because you always think that thing you were supposed to be at wasn't happening until later
14. And there's literally no point in you owning a watch, because you don't use it anyway
15. Life would just be way more chill if they went ahead and invented a time machine for your exclusive use
But instead of using it to check out cool historical events or see what your life is like in the future, you just use it to make yourself on time for that coffee date.