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It Just Occurred To Twitter That Donald Trump Could Actually Be President

by N/A, 9 years ago | 1 min read

Yes, His Highness The Donald could become the next POTUS. Scared? You should be.

funny Politics Conservative Politics Liberal Politics Non-Premium

In case you haven't heard, Donald Trump won the New Hampshire Republican primary by a landslide. 

Donald Trump - the bigot, misogynist, born-into-wealth reality TV star who's never held a political office in his life - swept the Republican primary in Live Free or Die land with over 35% of the vote. John Kasich, who came in second, secured 15.8% of the vote. That's a pretty fucking big margin of victory. This should be very alarming news to everyone (myself included) who assumed there's no way rational American voters could ever elect such a backwards, regressive fascist to the most powerful political office in the world. But a win in New Hampshire means that there's a very real chance Trump, who sincerely wants to ban all Muslims (who make up ~23% of the world's population) from traveling to the US, could be the next leader of the free world. 

This came as a wakeup call to many people like me who thought the American populace couldn't possibly be stupid, racist and ill-informed enough to actually cast a vote for The Donald.

Surprise: there are a shitload of people in the US who are obviously stupid, racist and ill-informed enough to vote for the Golden-Haired God. And oh boy, was it a surprise. Just look how people on Twitter have been reacting. 

Yeah, it's for real. 

He's not just a stunt artist. With all the money at his disposal, he could easily secure a victory. Because that's how America works. Literally all Trump wants is a victory, no matter how much he has to lie and flip flop on the issues. 

Yes, I know. I'm scratching my head too. 

He was supposed to be a blowhard who served as political entertainment! But he's getting his way. The way of The Donald. Please, help prevent this by getting out and voting. 

There's still a fraction of a chance that Ol' Trumperino is one of the greatest performance artists of all time, right?

Nope, not at this point. You really have to admire this guy's incentive - these are questions we should all be asking, lest we want one of the most entitled, least in-touch people of all time to be the next leader of Our Great Nation. Entitled and out-of-touch is a very dangerous combination, especially when billions of dollars and the fate of the world are involved. 

The answer to this is obvious. 

But just to be sure you know: if Trump's elected, you're going to have way more problems than just getting a job, because you're a woman and Trump hates women, among other non-white-male groups. Not that it's easy to be a woman in our patriarchal society, but I've a feeling it's going to get a whole lot worse under a Trump Reich. 

Please, do your part.

Just get out and vote. Do you really want the presidency to turn into a reality TV show? I can just picture Trump in the Oval Office, stiff finger looming over an enormous red button as he addresses the entire world: "YOU'RE NUKED!" His victory in New Hampshire is just the start of what could turn into a tragic Trump trail all the way to the White House, and I really don't want that to happen. 

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