Nothing Says 'I'm Down For Whatever' Like A Crocheted, 'Minion' Man-Thong
What is this world coming to...
As most are already acutely aware of, Minions have begun rapidly invading modern culture over the past umpteen months, infiltrating every sensory opportunity of our personal lives.
It's enough to qualify as a legitimate invasion.
But just when you thought the onslaught of needless memorabilia and themed products was beginning to wane, this happens...
*Stares blankly, mouth agape*
If your brain is refusing to make sense of it, don't worry, that's perfectly normal. What you're seeing is a thong. A Minion thong...a CROCHETED Minion thong.
*Blinks repeatedly, mouth still agape*
The ineffable creation is the handywork of Etsy maker 'karsona11,' who specializes in "crocheted erotic lingerie."
Because nothing says "let's get kinky" like hand-sewn yarn.
The diabolical creation allows the user to experience an unrivaled level of shame, while also being confronted with the rousing reality that their now personified--or "Minionified"--ding-dong is holding a one-eyed staring contest with them...and winning.
Because if there's any popular, kid-centered cartoon character that should be sexualized via the art of crocheting, it's Minions.
And if anyone ever says that - or any remote variation of it - in seriousness, summon the most renowned priest you can find or start praying real hard for deliverance, because there's a good chance they're the spawn of Satan.
But no need to get envious, ladies. There's a slightly less disturbing but equally upsetting version for women.
For the guy, that's a lot of deranged, one-eyed staring contests. Five seconds face to face with either of these could end in lifelong night-terrors. Or worse, you might actually start getting into it. *shudders*
God help the lost soul that falls prey to these...'despicable' monsters.