13 Things That Will Help You Accept Your Truly Lazy Nature
To do list: get a robot to write articles for me.
1. Lazy people like us just can't be expected to do the same things as the rest of society. Like, do you seriously expect us to toast our own bread?
Gawd. That's like two whole minutes of work.
2. Sometimes all you want is just someone to carry you everywhere
3. "Oh, did you want me to throw the ball with my arm? I think there's probably a machine for that"
Because why bond with your dog when you can buy a device to do it for you?
4. Lazy people are some of the best problem solvers on the planet
Nobody said "lazy" and "smart" were mutually exclusive.
5. "I don't see why I should actually have to work behind the information desk when Google can literally do the exact same thing"
"Oh, I'm fired? Sweet, no work tomorrow."
6. Lazy people like us are willing to accept heavy fines for our laziness
7. Honestly, just looking up the store hours would probably be lazier
But that probably requires more initiative, so there's some gray area on the official laziness of this one.
8. Finally, they've made a product for us people who don't have the strength to constantly take our phones in and out of our pockets all day
9. Being lazy can be expensive. We'd rather leave a 37% tip than actually do two seconds of math
10. The lazy person's worst nightmare is literally any day of the week
11. A key trait of being lazy is trying to find a shortcut around everything, no matter how dangerous or destructive
12. If you ever expect me to put any kind of strain on my body whatsoever, you clearly don't get what it's like to be lazy
13. But the worst part about being lazy: dealing with the constant judgment from others
"Yeah, I get it. 'Look at this guy, too lazy to fly to work!' they all say. You have no idea what my life is like."