This Dutch Mother Just Went Way Too Far With A Knitted Version of Her Son. Yikes

by N/A, 8 years ago | 2 min read

You can't spell "smother" without "mother."

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Dutch mom and textile designer Marieke Voorsluijs loves her job with a passion. But she loves her son even more.

Like, a LOT more. So much so, that when he began to outgrow her motherly smothering, she made a homemade knit version of him...

Guys, she knit a YARN VERSION of her son. A F*CKING YARN SON!

Why, you ask? Great question. To CUDDLE with him/it/this nightmare of a creation.

"We laugh a lot about the stretching gap between his needs and mine. Him needing more of his own space and my covert needs to keep on smothering him with maternal love," the stage-5 smotherer writes.

Which makes Voorsluijs about as creepy as they come

"I am a textiles designer and he often helps me and has great creative ideas. So we started to fantasize how we could visualize this puberty gap. So I suggested to make a cuddly version of him!"

*Stares blankly, mouth agape*

"My knitted son consists of: a knitted head with cap, hands with nails and a watch, knitted trousers, a knitted sweater with obstinate slogan, knitters sneakers and knitted iPod."

On a scale of 1-10, one being "doesn't knit at all" and 10 being "knits far too much to be reasonably sane," she'd fall at about a 21 - which is probably the age her son will end up trying to run away and flee the country.

"We had great fun making it! And during the process, I was able to cuddle with him without him even knowing it."

Let's hope - and pray, if you're religious - that "real son" is spared as many "cuddlies" as his stars allow. But judging by his new twin's...appearance...I wouldn't put money on him being a free man quite yet.

And for you oppressed teens out there who can relate - hopefully not completely - Godspeed. It gets worse before it gets better.