10 People You Pray Not To See At The Movies

by N/A, 8 years ago | 2 min read

Avoid teens and old people at all costs - even if it means sitting in the front row.

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1. The chatty Cathy.

We all hate them. All of them. End of story.

2. The obnoxious teen couple that's there because it's too risky to suck face at their parents' house.

"I fucking love you."

"I fucking love you too."

"This movie sucks."

"Let's make out."

3. The guy who eats his candy as loudly as possible during literally the quietest moments of the movie.

If there was ever a reason to hate Bunch-a-Crunch...

4. The old couple that says literally everything they're thinking out loud.

"OH MY GOD WALT, I THINK HE'S GONNA KILL HER! HE'S ACTUALLY GONNA KILL HER! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, HE'S WALKING UP BEHIND HER WITH A KNIFE, HE'S REALLY GONNA DO IT, HE'S GONNA KILL HER!"

5. The old lady who gets all the jokes three minutes later.

"OHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA! "Thinking with his head," I knowwww which head he was talking about!!! Oh that is so dirtyyyy!!! AHAHAHAHA!"

6. Pretty much most old people in general.

Sorry guys. We know you're not trying to ruin our movies with your inquisitiveness and enthusiasm, but sadly, you kinda are.

7. The couple who couldn't afford a babysitter.

Really? You can spend $30 at the movies, but you can't afford a sitter? And you took your baby with you to see "The Purge"??? Jesus...

8. The guy that shushes everyone.

Literally NO ONE is talking right now. You are officially the only one making noise.

9. The asshole behind you who you swear to god is bumping your seat with his big dumb knees on purpose.

Fifteen times is 12 times too many to be a goddamn accident anymore.

10. The enormous posse of teen douchebags who think they own the goddamn joint.

You smell them coming, pungent notes of Axe in the air. You hear them - the chatter of "babes" and "boobs" growing louder. They are coming...and you just wasted $12.