John Oliver Hilariously Shows How You Will Definitely Fail Your New Year's Resolutions
The marking off of another calendar year's worth of life lived is an opportunity to start fresh. Start fresh by simply lying to yourself, that is. The beginning of the calendar year brings along with it the burdensome, obligatory activity that is New Year's resolutions. New Year's resolutions are when people decide it's time they made a change in their life for the better. Sounds like a great task, right? John Oliver doesn't disagree, per se, but does know statistically speaking: you'll fail.
When people set their resolutions, they often set goals that are so lofty, the success is basically impossible in most cases. Rather than set yourself up for failure, Oliver suggests reshaping what success is.
There's no reason to set a goal, that in your heart-of-hearts you know you won't pull off. Seriously, doing so takes, well, you know: effort. Who has time for all of that effort? Ugh, sounds tiresome and boring at best. Yes, at best. Nobody wants to do all that, especially not to just fail and be right back where they were on December 31st within just a few weeks most likely.
For instance, instead of saying you're going to exercise and get back in shape, which let's admit it, is a bold-faced lie, Oliver suggests reshaping the goal into getting your heart-rate up. Easily attained by just taking a pregnancy test.
You see? Failure is the inevitable reality of this annual tradition of setting resolutions in order to better ourselves. That failure can be avoided if everyone were to collectively just reshape those goals into something that's actually achievable. Stop fooling yourself and lying to others by saying you'll do something, when we all know you'll give up on it most likely by the end of January–if you even make it that far.
You can watch Oliver's entire breakdown of resolutions, the thing which he dubs "the exact middle ground between lying to yourself and lying to other people" here.
So what are you going to do:
Reshape your goals into something you can actually achieve?
–or–
Set your resolution so high, you won't feel like an imbecilic failure when you in fact fail to achieve it?
Either path you choose, it's a better choice than having certain expectations of a resolution, only to have the reality (failure) come crashing down upon you. Good luck out there, ya bunch of failures, you!