Santa University: The Real Alma Mater Of Fake Santas Everywhere (No Really, It Exists)
Noerr Programs "reaches unparalleled benchmarks with our emphasis on the Experience: Creating Magic, Inspiring Smiles, Capturing Memories," or so they say on their website. One of those programs is designed specifically to bring the most-qualified, presumably jolly Santas to malls and other public venues around America. The program is aptly called Santa University, and puts out a claimed 96% graduates with real, white beards. I assume majors fields of study include: presents, cookies, etc.
The only it's got me wondering is: is this a cult? Everybody looks alike and dresses alike and is preached to about how to act by following a specific doctrine.
"When a kid tells you what they want for Christmas–you promise to make that happen."
"When a kid is crying on your lap–go ahead and pose and smile for a candid photo. It'll be a funny memory."
I' assuming some of this is listed in the course syllabus for Santa University, but admittedly have no research to back this claim up.
But, again, isn't this a little creepy. Hundreds of men that all look like clones of one another put together in one facility for half-a-week in the middle of summer to prepare one month of work 6 months from that time? Seems odd, to say the least.
No word yet on whether or not hipster-Santa or fashionable-Santa were graduates of the program, but with this seemingly Christmas/Santa purist setup, it seems unlikely either of these two came through the program.
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fright…ening Santa college nightmare clone scenario!"