You Can Survive The Chilly Torture Of The Toilet Flush In The Shower With These 6 Tips

by N/A, 9 years ago | 2 min read

We've all been there: you're showering, minding your own business, just trying to keep up with normal and acceptable hygienic standards, when somebody decides they need to use the restroom. Fair enough–the timing is neither their fault or yours, but what follows is completely and utterly the cruelest thing one person could do to another when they could, in fact, have not done said thing: they flush the toilet. They could've come back and flushed later, but instead chose to torture you.

hygiene Health Humor Satire Non-Premium

1. Screech at the top of your lungs, enough that it could possibly break the bathroom mirror and shatter on the toilet flusher, because that is the only real justice here

Oh the humanity! Why has this happened?! You were rinsing your hair in the perfectly crafted warm water of your choosing and then unbeknownst to you, a stream of water straight from the Arctic comes rushing down your spine, just because some dimwit decided to do the dookie!

2. Curse at them if the mirror thing didn't happen, because they deserve some sort of punishment for the pain they're currently putting you through

The state of shock is over and now it's time to let them know how you feel:

"What the mother-f*cking, sh*t suck was that for, you a*s-wipe?!"

This is the absolute only way to let a person know just unbelievably evil what they've just done to you was. It was uncalled for. Ridiculous. An astronomical mistake. Complete chaos has ensued inside the shower, because of their toilet-time decision.

3. Move the shower head off your body before it gets any worse

The obvious needs to be stated here, but you gotta get that stream of iciness away from your body as soon as possible. Never mind the soap these devilish deuce droppers have dealt you. The insane irony of this is that the cold water is now the least of your worries in this somber, sudsy situation.

4. Become increasingly cold waiting for the return of warm water, but no because of the cold water, but because of the rapidly dropping temperature of the bathroom

Now you're just stuck standing there, naked no less, feeling the chilly breeze around you. It used to be steamy around these parts, but you need to do everything you can to cover these parts, if you catch my drift (and that draft).

5. Listen to the familiar hum of the toilet flushing trying to predict when it’ll be finished

We all know the exact rhythm and rhyme of what our toilet flush sounds like. We also know the agonizingly long process it takes to flush and subsequently fill itself back up, which isn't ever an issue until some bladder bully decided to flush their feces without considering the consequences of their backside behavior.

6. Finally, you can cautiously resume bathing

The toilet has completed its process. The warm water has returned. You're no longer a prisoner to some person's piss-poor pissing practices. PHEW–glad that's over. Time to finish up washing this body and forget that every happened. Just dip your head up the shower head and close your eyes for the warm sensation of…

…

*screeches*

"WHO THE F*CK JUST STARTED THE WASHING MACHINE?! "

*repeat other necessary parts of above cycle until the washer's first cycle is over with*