10 Steps To Following Written Directions, Proving You Don't Know How To Follow Directions
Hello there! It's safe to assume you've already skimmed most of what is written here. True, that was the first few sentences, but it's so obvious that not reading something is way easier than, you know, reading it! Why bother? You could so easily figure out what to do without actually reading something all the way through, so you may as well just not. It's not like reading directions and subsequently following them was written that way for any reason. It's safe to assume it's all gobbledygook!
There's no need to read all those directions! It doesn't matter if it's for a test or if you're trying to assemble something. You've got this. You know what's going on. The directions just have way too many words to try and soak in. A quick skim and you're off and running toward success.
Yeah, it'll be so easy. SO EASY. Just get to work and stop wasting time on the yammering from some omnipotent direction writer. They wrote these directions out so detailed so idiots could get all the answers they need, which is not you. YOU GOT THIS!
Well, actually it's a little confusing without having read the directions all the way through. Maybe you're one of the so-called idiots who needed more detail? Maybe it would've helped to read a little bit more of what is going on. Or, maybe you should just…
Yeah, that makes way more sense. F*ck those directions! You're smart. Okay, so let's see here. What's the next step? Where to go from here? Ah, yes, just keep doing what you think is right, with no actual direction to follow, since you didn't read the directions you could so easily be following at this point instead.
Oops, that probably isn't what you were supposed to be doing. That was a mistake. It felt right. It seemed right. Maybe there was just one little detail you missed out on? That's probably it. There was no need to actually read all those directions, but admittedly a little assistance at this point would be nice. How about you just…
Oh, okay, yes, right. That makes sense. You were doing the right thing. No need to read the directions. you've got the gist of it. You've got this. Directions are just cumbersome dictations from somebody who enjoys hearing themselves talk, thus they write it down and hope somebody else will actually read it! Nope, not for you! You're smart enough to figure this whole process out without the directions.
There is no need to change the course of action now! You're a smart person. You don't actually need to read the entirety of some set of directions to know exactly what you should be doing. Recipes? Psshhh. Test instructions? Get out of here. IKEA nonsense? As if it helps! Keep doing what you know to be the right thing to do. It's gotten you this far, which let's be honest, isn't that far.
Alright, so maybe reading those directions may have helped? No. Not at all. Skimming it was logical and you knew what you were doing. There's no need to panic, because it wasn't even your fault. In fact, you did great. Maybe you should just shift the blame of screwing this entire situation up off of yourself. That makes more sense than anything these phony directions had to say.
What gives, directions?! How could a set of directions throw you off track so far? There's nothing you could've done differently. You read the essential stuff and then got to work right away. It's completely and totally the directions' fault for making you screw up, because if the important stuff was just right in the beginning of things that you skimmed you might have actually gotten this thing done by now.
Well, that was a complete waste of time! Why is this so difficult? You know what, there should be a set of directions for how to follow directions…
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Oh, you're reading that right now. If you've made it this far, congratulations: you've just read your first entire set of directions? How does it feel? Did you learn something? Good–now go follow directions like you actual know how to.