5 Things People Do While In A Relationship That Seem Sweet But Are Honestly Awful
There's something about being in a relationship that puts a stamp of approval on things that nobody not in a relationship would ever think about doing. "Look at those two! So adorable, they are! Gee whiz!" Why do people have reactions like that? Well, probably because humans have somehow been hardwired into thinking these are the appropriate actions to carry out when dating somebody. These actions have been further glamorized by films, TV stock photos, etc., but actually are quite grueling.
This is what couples do, right?! It doesn't put the person being sat on's leg to sleep or anything. It doesn't cut off circulation to their lower limbs or anything. It's adorable, right?! If you can't sense the sarcasm in this it's safe to assume someone is sitting on your leg right now, and your body is slowly shutting down.
Ahhhhhh! Getting cozy and watching your favorite entertainment: that's what dating is all about. Never-mind the obstructed view for the big spoon. Never-mind the arm that is asleep for the big spoon. Never-mind the hair tickling the eye balls and making its way into the mouth of the big spoon. Forget all that, because this is apparently the adorable thing you're supposed to do when dating.
The subtlety of physical affection is just as important as being willing to have sweaty palms–or so they have made us believe it is. Don't let go of that hand. Never. Not to answer a phone. Not to open a door. Not to itch your back. Keeping hanging on to reach the ultimate cute factor in your relationship.
–OR–
Just don't, because there needs to be a time limit on this.
"I'll have the (insert order), and they'll have the (insert order)."
It seems like an adorable gesture as if to say: I got you. But, au contraire! In reality, this is simply a controlling tactic as if to say: They don't speak when in public.
You're a couple so you can share food and it's no big deal. Actually, others outside the relationship may think it's so sweet to watch as you two share your meal. One person in the relationship may even think it's super cute, but for the last time in this list, it needs to be said: it's not cute. Like, c'mon! Sharing may be caring, but what a significant other should really be caring about is if they like the food on their own plate.