Airport Security Is Bad Enough, But These 18 Horrible Patdowns Are The Worst
by N/A, 9 years ago |
3 min read
The Transportation Security Administration: "Publicly depriving people of their dignity since 2001."
1. "Excuse me miss, I'm gonna need to live vicariously through you for a second. Can you step over here, please?"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/5948e0cdf036900619ff15cb48b7dc12.jpeg)
2. "Woah woah woah slugger, hold on there. I haven't even gotten around to your front yet."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/f2b4c602151a02fe08c29271c0e417ad.jpeg)
3. "Believe me miss, I enjoy this as little as you do...Okay, maybe you've got me beat, but still."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/cef5e0452d53422aa423a781782b4cff.jpeg)
4. "If you so much as blink without me telling you to, I'm takin' you to interrogation. You hear me?"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/727c5628c813d3efdda0d964a73b8313.jpeg)
5. "Is this a pushup? These are surprisingly firm. Where do you shop?"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/eb6d0a2be7a935eced2dc9b8e329e5fd.jpeg)
6. "Ma'am, excuse me. I'm seeing the Blue Man Group tonight, and I need to get in the spirit."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/20af8e0fb00f0949e4a33ec60c01078f.jpeg)
7. "Ahhhhh no belt, huh? You tryina' tell me somethin' big boy?"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/9fe2775b95f52a347b509af4d5a3198e.jpeg)
8. "I'm doing this for you and everyone else sir, not me. One could say, I'm just here to please."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/380b1f067d55a03f528b9edffa9ce6da.jpeg)
9. "Ma'am, I need you stay calm. This is all procedural."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/401a81a645ff7d1f79facf19468caf01.jpeg)
10. "Are you shaking? What, are you nervous? Rick, she's shaking. Let's take her to the back room for questioning."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/cf85a25a992dbf0a870b56ec8318a6cf.jpeg)
11. "Sir, the chuckling under your breath will not make this go any faster."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/f84fda40578af6e54b497e160e625406.jpeg)
12. "Ma'am, if this is going to work, I need you to look me in the eyes."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/6d3afec524a55c410608e47a13c2b2c9.jpeg)
13. "Almost done publicly humiliating you ma'am, just a few more pat-downs."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/8bb9528fbf5d33664beea85eea49003e.jpeg)
14. "I'm hoping you're just really well endowed, because that looks awful suspicious."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/a01343c3d61250e4a7adb1d206c1dbb9.jpeg)
15. "Big fan of your movies. Now show me what you're hiding."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/01d94bd5378e074757156ad136399d68.jpeg)
16. "Move another hair and I will karate chop you in the sternum."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/674d4ebfc360cbe981276717842458fb.jpeg)
17. "Ma'am? Ma'am. I am no "bitch," and yes, I am serious. Now, I need you to take that lovely shirt off for me please."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/42f6bebe241f92e28d62aa6bbf0369ce.jpeg)
18. "So, is it true what they say about you Wolverine boys? That you have huge fan pride?"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/sifts.spartzinc.com/images/8066d9aa6b43b10067f7b6e486b052c8.jpeg)
✕
Do not show me this again