26 Moments When You Really Just Need to Keep It in Your Pants
Sometimes you've got to know when you're overplaying your hand.Â
We've done our best to compile a comprehensive and extremely helpful list of situations where it is NOT okay to suggest a game of backseat bingo.Â
1. While watching CSPAN.
2. After a particularly moving human rights protest.
3. DURING a particularly moving human rights protest.
4. After your significant other has had a long conversation with you about how they're finally at a comfortable spot with their parents despite the fact that they haven't spoken in years.
5. While they're on the phone with their parents who they haven't spoken to in years.Â
6. In the middle of brunch.
7. During a baptism.Â
8. The scene in the Lion King where Simba tries to tuck himself under his father's paw in despair upon discovering him dead at the hand of his uncle.Â
9. After getting your wisdom teeth pulled.Â
10. After playing with a lot of pets at length.Â
11. While flying on Spirit airlines.Â
12. In the bathroom during a charity fundraiser.Â
13. While watching Schindler's List.Â
14. Within 30 minutes of eating Taco Bell.Â
15. The moment after someone says "God, everything that's happening with Israel and Palestine is so tragic...can't we ever reach a two-state solution?
16. The moment after someone says "Let's buy a pet together!"Â
17. On the Ides of March.Â
18. The scene in The West Wing where President Bartlett gets shot.Â
19. While watching literally any scene in The West Wing.Â
20. The moment after someone has walked in on you sobbing silently while reading the final Harry Potter book.Â
21. During a crescent moon.Â
22. Right after the moment at the beginning of a Pixar movie where you see the boy fishing off of the Crescent moon.Â
23. After drinking Genesee Cream Ale.Â
24. Hidden in the theater after a performance of Swan Lake.Â
25. In the middle of The State of the Union.Â
26. Upon waking up your significant other at the exact moment that they've fallen asleep.Â