Kissing is a cocktail, and the secret ingredient will surprise you.
You’ve probably seen a clip floating around the internet of an awkward guy named Josh trying his hardest to kiss women on a TV show. Well, the show is called “Love At First Kiss” and is a bit self-explanatory. Two individuals meet in an empty, white room and make out. Afterward, they decide if they want to go out on a date or not.
For Josh, things were a little difficult, having come to the show without ever having a girlfriend and with his kissing virginity still intact. In order to find that special someone, he put himself in an extremely vulnerable place that (chances are) none of us will ever go to. I commend Josh for being so brave, but c’mon, man. This was extremely hard to watch. In the words of Tyra Banks, “I was rooting for you — we were ALL rooting for you!”
First impressions make or break any relationship. Sure, you want to impress the other person and leave a positive, memorable impression, but it’s hard to stay natural and keep your composure during a very stressful situation (no pressure). When you’re kissing someone, that same idea applies. You want to come across as natural and confident in your skills, even though you’re secretly scared that you’ll turn off your new partner somehow.
If you’re someone who suffers from anxiety when you even think about kissing someone new, take a deep breath for a second and calm down. I’ll start by addressing the elephant in the room: Kissing is so weird. Why would you want to put your slobbery face on the face of another slobbery human being? You don’t know where their mouth has been and they don’t know where yours has been. Plus, what if they have a cold and aren’t telling you? It’s just gross to even think about.
But it can be a relief to remember that kissing is part of human nature. It’s something we do in both platonic and romantic relationships. In platonic relationships, we kiss as a greeting, and in romantic relationships, we kiss to show affection. But how exactly do we show affection through kissing?
Without getting too science-textbook-y, it’s been found that saliva increases libido, aka sexual desire. If you’re someone who doesn’t give enough saliva while kissing, that could be why you’re single. As Helen Fisher, a Biological Anthropologist from Rutgers University, said in 2009, “Saliva is like a chemical cocktail, and hooking up may have evolved to help us quickly tell if someone is a good mate or not.”
So if you’re going on plenty of good Tinder dates but wondering why they don’t seem to go anywhere, it could literally be in your kiss.
And if you’re wondering how Josh is shaping up after his failed kiss attempt, he’s actually engaged to the woman with whom he had the most successful kiss. Granted, he put her engagement ring on the wrong hand, but he’s a work in progress. Let Josh be proof that anything is possible with a little practice and patience.