It comes with 21 bathrooms and a private candy room.

When you were a kid, mapping out your dream house with scented markers, you probably imagined a magical hill-top mansion where you ate sweets all day and parked your helicopter on the roof. Now you’d settle for a refurbished Dutch colonial on a cul-de-sac in a good school district. But some (very rich) people held onto those childhood dreams and shot them full of maximalist steroids.

Enter: the most expensive home ever listed in the United States. With a price tag of $250 million (that’s a quarter of a billion dollars), this Bel-Air mega-mansion has 12 bedrooms, 21 bathrooms, a spa, a fitness center and a ginormous infinity pool complete with a swim-up bar.

There’s also a four-lane bowling alley, a 40-seat movie theater, a game room filled with glass foosball and ping pong tables (because glass is fancy?), and a candy room stocked with floor-to-ceiling cylinders of sweets. And for those of you with Medieval fairytale dreams, there’s also a moat surrounding the property. Yes, a moat.

For those shopping with a quarter-billion-dollar budget, “extras” include $30 million dollars worth of exotic cars, motorcycles and a helicopter (purely for show, as the house doesn’t have the proper permits for takeoff and landing). Oh, and the price includes seven full-time staff members who live in a separate wing.

If your budget and conscience can accommodate such excess, the property is fully move-in ready. As real estate developer Bruce Makowsky told the LA Times, “You don’t even need a toothbrush.”

All images from Bruce Makowsky and BAM Luxury Development.