There’s something hiding 10,000 leagues under Terminal C.
As an avid conspiracy theorist I spend most of my days drinking whiskey and thinking about the Denver airport. Built in 1995, Denver International Airport is the second largest in the world. It’s nearly twice the size as the second largest US airport. That’s right, the DENVER airport is the largest airport in the United States. Oh, and its runway looks vaguely like a swastika. Oh, and it’s long been thought to house aliens, lizard people and be a bunker for a government-mandated apocalypse.
Pack your bags, conspiracy theorists! We are going on a #TRIP.
But Grandma — Why Is Your Airport So Large?
Let’s go back to 1993. The Denver airport was perfectly fine, but the city announced it was going to build a new one anyways — conveniently located 25 miles from Denver. Oh, and there wouldn’t be more runways than the last one. Cue Colorado taxpayers protesting. Cue the airport being built 16 months behind schedule and being $2 billion over budget.
Where did all of that money go? Why was the airport so large? Their new automated baggage system, obviously! Before the grand opening of the airport, the fine folks at the Denver airport conducted underground tours of the new system. One small glitch: It would randomly dump luggage, mangle it or send it flying. The system was a grand failure.
There are endless questions about why the Denver airport is so large, how far underground it goes and what’s really happening there. Some of the answers are more tin foil hat than facts, which are always the best kind — and maybe the most truthful.
Ten Thousand Leagues Under Terminal C
The conspiracy theories about what lies beneath the Denver airport run miles deep. The most popular is that there’s a secret road all the way to Washington DC. Others include the idea that aliens or lizard people live down there, or that there’s a bunker for people to shelter in while the apocalypse occurs. While a few of these are hard sell, one thing for certain is — there is probably hella space down there. And it just might go beyond a shitty baggage system.
It doesn’t help that there’s a plaque thanking the New World Airport Commission for building the airport. It really looks like the Denver airport is opening its arms to welcome conspiracy theorists home!
Why would the New World Order or the government choose the Denver airport for its shenanigans, though? Sure, it’s centrally located and it could be the perfect cover story. Beyond that, though, YA GOT ME.
It’s The End Of Airport Art As We Know It
Rod Stewart taught us that every picture tells a story. The Denver airport’s art screams a story.
Normally, airports have murals that reflect their city’s community, like this one, from Chicago’s O’Hare International:
The Denver airport, though, decided to commission something a little different. They asked themselves, “What if — instead of a normal airport mural — we depict dead children and the apocalypse?”
When such a wonderful idea enters your brain, you don’t think twice — you do it!
Q: Is that Nazi with a weapon in each hand?
A : It appears that way.
Q: Is this Nazi stabbing the dove of peace?
Q: Are children dead/sleeping on bricks?
A: I can’t disagree with that statement.
Q: Is that a line of women weeping and holding dead infants?
A: If you have to ask, you already know.
No further questions, your honor.
Don’t worry though — that’s the only artwork in the airport. I’m kidding! There’s this, too:
There’s no time to talk about all of the creepy imagery here. Instead I’ll be teaching a ten week course out of my living room. Hit me up.
It would be wrong not to talk about Blucifer though. Blucifer is the local nickname for the giant horse statue that welcomes (?) guests to the airport. Blucifer is 32 feet tall and has red eyes that glow. Conspiracy theorists believe the statue represents the fourth horseman of the apocalypse — or that it’s haunted. If you’re a non-believer, you might be interested to know that this horse killed its maker.
Take that, rewind it back. This is LUDACRIS.
While the artist Luis Jimenez was working on Blucifer in his studio, part of the statue fell off and killed him.
Why would an airport choose to display such dark art? There are three theories.
- The artists knew the true intent of the airport and left secret messages in their art.
- The secret organization behind the building of the airport was being cocky.
- Art is weird, yo. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Goodbye & Thank You For Choosing Conspiracy Theories
We will probably never know the true story of the Denver airport. Unless, of course, the end of the world comes and you’re an American treasure like George W. Bush or Millie Bobby Brown and you’re sent to live in the underbelly of the famed airport. What’s important to understand though — is that the Denver airport is weird as hell. That’s the real lesson here.
Oh, and kids?